Monday, December 19, 2011

This is my friend. His name is Tim. He is a good friend.

The kids I teach don’t do a lot of drawing in class. In fact a lot of my students don’t do any drawing. Yet, every now and then there is some free time in a class or a substitution pattern in which they can write their own substitution and then draw a picture. 

In one of my youngest classes there are two boys that sit next to each other, Jack and Tim. The substitution pattern they were practicing was very simple: 

This is my friend. His/Her name is _________. He/She is a adjective friend. 

Jack drew his friend Tim, and I simply couldn’t resist sharing his artwork. 

I think there are some valuable life lessons to take from Jack’s drawing. These being: 

1. When you come in first, don’t miss the opportunity to do a funky dance on the first place podium and rub it in everybody’s face.  

2. Second place isn’t bad. Sure, you’ll feel like you’re in the shadow of a giant, as Tim does something that resembles the truffle shuffle, but don’t feel bad, it could have been much much worse. 

3. Coming in third place is when things start getting much much worse. Don’t be a cry baby. Stand there and grimace if you must. Just remember there are a lot of people much worse off than you. 

4. This is the point at which you sprout vampire teeth and your hair catches on fire. 

5. Okay, now your whole body is on fire. 

6. You came in sixth place. Seriously, you should be ashamed of yourself. Just throw yourself off the podium why don’t you! 

7. Well this chap looks fairly happy. He does also appear to have a halo with wings floating above his head. Perhaps he has died or is just delirious with disappointment. 

8. No hand head stand. “DON’T TALK TO ME! I CAME IN EIGHTH!!!”  

9. When you come in ninth place, you don’t get to stand on a podium, you get strung up by your feet and dangle above it while people take advantage of the opportunity to use you as a punching bag and tell you how badly you did. 

10. You came in tenth. Eat some rat poison, fall off the podium and die! 

11. I don’t even want to guess what is going on on/under the 11th place podium. 

12. You’ve turned into a monster. I don’t think there’s any coming back from this disappointment. 

13. You came in last, and appear to be a ghost. What more can I say.

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